Preparing the sacred...
Preparing the sacred...
Your vessel is empty.
Browse the relics to begin
From the Alley to the Altar
He lost everything. He found honey mustard. Now he walks in the light — and so can you.
The Testimony
Before he was the Honey Mustard Boy, Patrick was a 5'4", slightly overweight, married, childless, nerdy, straightedge man living the American Dream. Suburban stability. Predictable comfort. His biggest risk was a second helping.
Then the Incident happened. And everything changed.
He abandoned Brittany. Cut off Donna and Duane. Ghosted Brian and Cait. He vanished — consumed by a paranoia and humiliation that knew no mercy.
The Mission
Every relic you acquire. Every calling you answer. Every slumber you witness. It all goes toward one sacred purpose.
“Keep the honey mustard boys off the streets — so nobody has to suck honey mustard like Patrick sucked honey mustard.”
Choose Your Path