Preparing the sacred...
Preparing the sacred...
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Patrick will call you. Personally.
Choose your tier of devotion. Each subscription brings Patrick's voice directly to your phone — a lifeline from the Honey Mustard Boy himself.
Tiers of Devotion
$9.99/month
A gentle introduction to Patrick's voice. One sacred call per month — enough to know he's there.
Most Devoted
$29.99/month
Patrick speaks and you shall listen. Four calls per month for those who seek deeper communion with the Honey Mustard Boy.
$69.99/month
The highest tier of devotion. Eight calls per month, twenty minutes each. Patrick is yours. You are his. This is the way.
Select a level of devotion that matches your spiritual readiness and budget.
Patrick will call you on your phone. The number of calls and duration depend on your tier.
Each call brings you closer to the honey mustard truth. Your subscription keeps the mission alive.